Dear Young Caleb In The NFL
Dear Young Caleb In The NFL,
Inevitably, you’ll lose friends. The people who were once closest to you will slowly become strangers because they just don’t understand. You’ll miss them & you’ll do your best to reconnect from time to time, but they’ll still be bringing up the life you used to live—trying to remind you of the person you used to be.
They’ll throw jabs with their words that will leave you gasping for air. They’ll mock you for trying to be happy, for placing your faith in the unknown in hopes that there’s more to life than what you’re currently experiencing.
It’s nothing to hold against them, you’re just in different seasons of life now—and you’re learning that this season is all about forgiving that person you used to be, & forgiving others.
So that guilt that you feel from the shame that whispers “who do you think you are,” & tries to remind you that you’re no different—that the old is where you belong. Don’t listen to it.
I know it doesn’t necessarily make the loneliness you feel any easier. But be patient, because in that pain that will inevitably leave you weepy, angry, and confused, a beautiful work is being done—growth is happening.
I’m not going to lie to you & say that it will get easier, but yes, you will get stronger. So, don’t turn back now.
The deep parts of you that have been long forgotten & buried alive beneath the pain of those shameful memories of humiliation, betrayal and abandonment are now emerging from the depths & calling to you. You’ll begin to realize that while you’ve spent most of your life trying to let go & distance yourself as far away as you can from your past one football game after another, you’ll first have to get close to that pain. Because you’re not going to experience exponential growth without first exponential healing.
Now, is the time to heal.
And don’t be surprised that one day, yes one beautiful day, you’ll get that call or that email from one of those old friends who just didn’t understand at the time that says, “hi, somewhere along the way I’ve forgotten who I am & I need your help.”
And you’ll smile because you’ll realize that there is purpose in the pain.
Love,
Your Future Self